The Male Privilege, Bewildered Boys & Team Mafisi

Exactly what is ‘Male Privilege’ ? In Kenya, it’s a lot Team Mafisi.

For all my wealth of ‘common’ sense and knowledge, I admit readily that I didn’t grasp it fully – or get enfolded in a back-breaking hug of understanding; until I read this Ebony* interview – where I really got-it. Male privilege is an inborn attitude and demeanor that NEEDS to be un-taught to our BOYS, and only when we as parents and guardians of the youth do that, only when we feed the honey and milk nourishment of behavior back into our boys, only then will our daughters and girls be truly free to walk our streets and roads in both daylight and darkness, only then will they stop being prey meals.

We took the stories away from women and mothers, sisters, girls and young ladies and told them that singing a sweet honey filled song will not help them, and when we stopped singing and the boys stopped hearing those lyrics, they tried to do the next best thing, which was to take the honey by force.

Male privilege is when a man knows that he can get his honey, as he pleases. He’s a Bear – a foreign thing that doesn’t live in Africa - looking for honey and eff the bees that depend on it for life - you know that swahili saying..?

Tafutua Asili, chunga Nyuki

Well if you watched Mwogli the Movie you gots to understand – a bear needs honey, needs honey and forget the fact that there are bees that may sting. He will use whichever monkey is available to get him that honey and that bear won’t bat an eyelid if the monkey is stung to death - 

or not.

The Male Privilege thinks that the Honey is there for his taking, any time. And if he can score more, well give me a high five! or knock-knuckles because, well – ‘she put out’ didn’t she?  In The Male Privilege  world, A No isn’t no, in-fact, many males don’t hear NO – Listen, this was a shocker for me, an intense hurt when I understood it, but instead of standing within the thorny bushes of the hurt, I struggled through it’s prickly patch to peer deeply at the real reason why men don’t hear anything when girls say NO.

They don’t hear it because it’s not a part of their life. Period.

How do you hear something that hasn’t been taught to you?

Male Privilege doesn’t, don’t and won’t hear NO. Even if the woman shouted it.

“what’s that?”

“say whaaaat?

“… you gotta be kidding me…”

The word NO has not been written into The Male Privilege database, so when you tell a man NO and he doesn’t hear it, the fault lies in the deeper ground of his up-bringing. Society, Education and yes -  Most importantly - PAPA. Not so long ago, girls would ask a boy where he’s from and then proceed and tell their Dad, ‘I met this guy, his famo is akina and so’… and the Dad would do some deeply intense sleuthing and detective work… to unearth and uncover the boy’s background – ama famo.  Why were they so darn personal and intrusive >> because they MADE time to. Which Dad has the time to do that today?  Msweeech – that sound that is something between a spit-and-a-sucking-in and collecting of the same spit  that old men & women make in their mouths, lips fused shut in a down-turned curl that looks like a dead fish –

……………….. Which Dad has the time for that nowadays? Which Dad, huh? No, he’s busy sponsoring and spanking and smacking some college girls butt – a girl who is probably younger than his daughter.  Shameless. And he wears her on his arm like a medal. So his son, tell me, his son - who is his son’s hero? The same Papa who’s sponsoring his best friends kid sister?  >> You see,  there’s that axiom about the fruit – it doesn’t fall far from the tree. This is true – sometimes – that we also get ‘black sheep’ – those rare beautiful souls raised in a white-sheep dominated pasture and are somehow, wondrously, so full of a beautiful blackness that they stand out  - in gentleness, in manners and in demeanor  - that it stuns a generation of white sheep to the point that the white sheep ask:  where did that magnificence of Black Sheep-ness come from?  So if you’re different and you’re well rounded and cannot fit-in the square box of life, wear your damn Black coat with honor and integrity. Honor. But sadly, many sons don’t. They slink after their fathers and copy them in ignorance. So, yes, it’s fine for a Dad to know where his daughters new boyfriends roots are, and it’s fine for all of us to talk about Honor and Shaming when it comes to families.  Shame for date-rape, shame for rape, shame for a

Forbidden

Use of

Carnal

Knowledge.

So if you have a young man who doesn’t know how to HEAR the word NO

If you have a young man who has an inbuilt sense of Male Privilege

When you have a young man who knows he can FUCK and walk away

When you have a young man who doesn’t know about Responsibility and caring and loving

If you have a young man who thinks only about himSELF and scoring

If you have a young man who is angry and in Defense mode – who if you walk behind him, and you prod his shoulder with your finger, he turns around and jumps you like a ninja fighter - kicking you on your chin with the full force of a Jackie Chan Foot in your teeth without the special effects – tell me, what do you have if as a society we have 37,340  or so young men with Male Privilege chanting and singing ‘I can do anthing, utaDo’  like these, what do you have if all these young men released onto our Kenyan streets?

That’s what we have.

They’re going to University this week,

and so are your daughters.

Let’s talk about the girls now.

Once upon a time, girls knew deep in their hearts and in their bones that the only place that they could lay down in completeness was within the woman’s world. Women loved women, loved that they were ‘she’  and that they had spaces where they could be

free,

to laugh,  to cry, to sing.

Women had a space where they could talk. And be heard.

Girls had a space where they could talk. And be heard.

Little tiny girls, barely toddlers, had a space where they could talk. And be heard.

Long before man stole it for themselves the ‘blood-bonds’ belonged to the sisters because they shared blood – sharing the Menses-Shelter – the Red Tent, the place where women would sit in pain, or not, the place where young mothers would give birth, and share stories. Women would spin stories of honey, delicious with each exhaled breath. Words were lyrical, full and bountiful, sexy and languid and rich. Words that gave life, words that breathed comfort, words that whispered encouragement and security… Women were confident in the knowledge that they were  the ones who nourished, that they were the healers, the consolers. Women still share recipes with their daughters today,  tell me, do they share health tips with sisters, do they help each other to give birth and raise babies? Do women still share songs of dance, beats to clap hands to, rhythms that make women jump up in joy, that make women shake and sway their wide hips in abandon? Do women still comfort each other in times of sadness? Because in this strength of SHARING, women used to hold women when women hurt. But if we don’t have those She-roots,

women can’t hold a woman when she hurts.

women can’t hold men, when men hurt.

When did females stop believing in she?

When did She stop listening to Her?

Do you know, that if She stops listening to Her, he does as well?

Look at Kenyans now, and what we have:

The Male Privilege with his entitlement,

and Women who say to the girl who is abused by Team Mafisi - ‘she deserves - it’.

What the eff kind of nonsense is that, especially when it comes from a woman? I look at these women and I shiver. I say I’m glad they shall never be my mother.  What kind of woman takes a sip of that bitter beverage, swirls it in her mouth and spits out those ugly cruel words at another woman, “she deserves it” ?  Msweeech – that sound that is something between a spit-and-a-sucking-in and collecting of the same spit that old men and women make in their mouths, lips fused shut in a downturned curl that looks like a dead fish – Look here. We all know what is behind The Male Privilege - it is being a member of a Boys Club - a ‘Team Mafisi’ like groupie where they defend themselves to the death. That’s right. That’s correct. A species must defend it’s own and never cannibalize itself otherwise it will eat itself to death – actually no – I lie, humans breed like a virus…but yes >> Boys are tight<< The Male Privilege.

Do this. Visit today’s Womens Club and you’ll find many not only clubbing each other behind their backs, but rolling their sleeves up so that they can get down & dirty, right down to holding another woman down for  men to rape them. And after-words, she’ll kill her with words and rejection. Because women, when hurt, will still run to another woman for comfort – but, the chain is broken. So they run to men. Your broken girl runs for comfort - they run to men who are inbred with The Male Privilege – they run to ‘Team Mafisi’ , or to the dad of Team Mafisi- The Sponsor – your husband and the father of your son.

And it shows through-out Kenyan society where women batter each other, pound on each other in all arenas, in family, in politics, in religion, in culture, in education, in tribe, in every single aspect you can think of, women in Kenya are so divided it’s INSANE. What kills me is the jealousy.

Mothers against daughters, mothers jealous of their daughters, mothers hating their daughters, mothers choosing-over their daughters. And the daughters, fed with hatred, replicate and duplicate and repeat on the hate. Again and again and again and again they spread the virulent hatred against themselves in Tertiary Institutions, in the workplace, in the neighborhoods, in schools, in politics – everywhere. Yes, women complain that as Kenyans focus too much on the girl-child and that we’ve advanced, I say, wait - it looks like we’ve made progress, but in reality? We haven’t. We haven’t. It looks good from far, it’s all glossed up and shiny like a brand new shiny Maserati, but in reality, this team ‘Kenyan Women’ is so ridiculously and ruthlessly far from good, it reeks to the core. She’s your Daughter. Your sister. Your mother. Your cousin.

Why are you pulling She down, dear Kenyan Woman – we were known as gentle women.

The Male Privilege

So Mama, what do you tell your daughter, who has passed her Form Four and is so excited, so excited, that she’s going to college this sem? Will you tell her to ‘Be careful’? and if she’s abused or misused will you scream ‘but you deserved it!!’ then send her off to a Rehab ran by the same members of the Boys Club when she becomes depressed; Oh the irony! Back to the same Team Mafisi that will sap her inner-sweet-honey essence by force. Leaving a shell behind. And yes, she will fall into a serious depression, because women have eliminated most of the safe spaces where they can talk as women.

She, what will you tell your kid sister? or best friend? as she packs to go to college? Will you tell her to say ‘No’  and scribble names of ‘who’s-who’ with fervent instructions to avoid those on the black-list? And what advice will you, Mr. Sponsor, give to your son who’s going to University this sem? Will you tetemeka from within and tell him to ‘keep off’ your girl? Or will you call her instead, your ‘sponsee’ and tell her, btw, that’s my son, keep off him or I’ll withdraw my sponsorship? So Papa is paying fees for his son and rent for his sponsee. And what do you think members of The Male Privilege Team Mafisi will tell his kid bro, or his ‘boy’? Fuck it and anything you want, take it and use it? Because after all, wataDo?

In conclusion:

Exactly what is ‘Male Privilege’ ? In Nai, it’s a lot Team Mafisi.

For all my wealth of ‘common’ sense and knowledge, I admit readily that I didn’t grasp it fully – or get enfolded in a back-breaking hug of understanding; until I read this Ebony interview * – where I really got-it. Male privilege is an inborn attitude and demeanor that NEEDS to be un-taught to our BOYS, and only when we as parents and guardians of the youth do that, only when we feed the honey and milk nourishment of behavior back into our boys , only then will our daughters and girls be truly free to walk our streets and roads in both daylight and darkness, only then will they stop being prey meals.

We took the stories away from women and mothers, sisters, girls and young ladies and told them that singing a sweet honey filled song will not help them, and when we stopped singing and the boys stopped hearing those lyrics, they tried to do the next best thing, which was to take the honey by force.

*Ebony Interview Link. << Please read that  now

Nyakio N. Munyinyi for the XpenSieve Report© 2016

[Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to xPenSieve© with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Headline banner design by NMunyinyi.]