Exactly what is ‘Male Privilege’ ? In Kenya, it’s a lot Team Mafisi.
For all my wealth of ‘common’ sense and knowledge,
I admit readily that I didn’t grasp it fully – or get enfolded in a back-breaking
hug of understanding; until I read this Ebony* interview – where I really
got-it. Male privilege is an inborn attitude and demeanor that NEEDS to be un-taught
to our BOYS, and only when we as parents and guardians of the youth do that,
only when we feed the honey and milk nourishment of behavior back into our boys, only then will our daughters and
girls be truly free to walk our streets and roads in both daylight and
darkness, only then will they stop being prey meals.
We took the stories away from women and
mothers, sisters, girls and young ladies and told them that singing a sweet
honey filled song will not help them, and when we stopped singing and the boys
stopped hearing those lyrics, they tried to do the next best thing, which was
to take the honey by force.
Male privilege is when a man knows that
he can get his honey, as he pleases. He’s a Bear – a foreign thing that doesn’t
live in Africa - looking for honey and eff the bees that depend on it for life - you know that swahili
saying..?
Tafutua
Asili, chunga Nyuki
Well if you watched Mwogli the Movie you gots to understand – a bear needs honey, needs
honey and forget the fact that there are bees that may sting. He will use whichever
monkey is available to get him that honey and that bear won’t bat an eyelid if
the monkey is stung to death -
or not.
The Male Privilege thinks that the Honey is
there for his taking, any
time. And if he can score more, well give me a high five! or knock-knuckles
because, well – ‘she put out’ didn’t she? In The Male Privilege world, A No isn’t no, in-fact, many males
don’t hear NO – Listen, this was a shocker
for me, an intense hurt when I understood it, but instead of standing within
the thorny bushes of the hurt, I struggled through it’s prickly patch to peer
deeply at the real reason why men don’t hear
anything when girls say NO.
They don’t hear it because it’s not a
part of their life. Period.
How do you hear something that hasn’t
been taught to you?
Male Privilege doesn’t, don’t and won’t
hear NO. Even if the woman shouted it.
“what’s that?”
“say whaaaat?
“… you gotta be kidding me…”
The word NO has not been written into The Male Privilege database, so when you tell
a man NO and he doesn’t hear it, the fault lies in the deeper ground of his up-bringing.
Society, Education and yes - Most
importantly - PAPA. Not so long ago, girls would ask a boy where he’s from and
then proceed and tell their Dad, ‘I met this guy, his famo is akina and so’… and the Dad would do some
deeply intense sleuthing and detective work… to unearth and uncover the boy’s
background – ama famo. Why were they so darn personal and intrusive
>> because they MADE time to. Which Dad has the time to do that today? Msweeech
– that sound that is something between a spit-and-a-sucking-in and collecting
of the same spit that old men & women make in their mouths,
lips fused shut in a down-turned curl that looks like a dead fish –
……………….. Which Dad has the time for that
nowadays? Which Dad, huh? No, he’s busy sponsoring
and spanking and smacking some college girls butt – a girl who is probably
younger than his daughter. Shameless. And he wears her on his arm like a medal.
So his son, tell me, his son - who is his son’s hero? The same Papa who’s
sponsoring his best friends kid sister? >> You see, there’s that axiom about the fruit – it doesn’t
fall far from the tree. This is true – sometimes
– that we also get ‘black sheep’ – those
rare beautiful souls raised in a white-sheep dominated pasture and are somehow,
wondrously, so full of a beautiful blackness that they stand out - in gentleness, in manners and in demeanor - that it stuns a generation of white sheep to
the point that the white sheep ask: where did that magnificence of Black Sheep-ness
come from? So if you’re different and
you’re well rounded and cannot fit-in the square box of life, wear your damn Black
coat with honor and integrity. Honor. But sadly, many sons don’t. They slink
after their fathers and copy them in ignorance. So, yes, it’s fine for a Dad to
know where his daughters new boyfriends roots are, and it’s fine for all of us
to talk about Honor and Shaming when it comes to families. Shame for
date-rape, shame for rape, shame for a
Forbidden
Use of
Carnal
Knowledge.
So if you have a young man who doesn’t
know how to HEAR the word NO
If you have a young man who has an
inbuilt sense of Male Privilege
When you have a young man who knows he
can FUCK and walk away
When you have a young man who doesn’t
know about Responsibility and caring and loving
If you have a young man who thinks only
about himSELF and scoring
If you have a young man who is angry and
in Defense mode – who if you walk behind him, and you prod his shoulder with
your finger, he turns around and jumps you like a ninja fighter - kicking you on
your chin with the full force of a Jackie Chan Foot in your teeth without the
special effects – tell me, what do you have
if as a society we have 37,340 or so young
men with Male Privilege chanting and singing ‘I can do anthing, utaDo’ like these, what do you have if all these young men released onto our Kenyan streets?
That’s what we have.
They’re going to University this week,
and so are your daughters.
Let’s talk about the girls now.
Once upon a time, girls knew deep in
their hearts and in their bones that the only place that they could lay down in
completeness was within the woman’s world. Women loved women, loved that they
were ‘she’ and that they had spaces
where they could be
free,
to laugh, to cry, to sing.
Women had a space where they could talk.
And be heard.
Girls had a space where they could talk.
And be heard.
Little tiny girls, barely toddlers, had
a space where they could talk. And be heard.
Long before man stole it for themselves the
‘blood-bonds’ belonged to the sisters because they shared blood – sharing the Menses-Shelter
– the Red Tent, the place where women would sit in pain, or not, the place
where young mothers would give birth, and share stories. Women would spin
stories of honey, delicious with each exhaled breath. Words were lyrical, full
and bountiful, sexy and languid and rich. Words that gave life, words that breathed
comfort, words that whispered
encouragement and security… Women were confident in the knowledge that they were the ones who nourished, that they were the
healers, the consolers. Women still share recipes with their daughters today, tell me, do they share health tips with
sisters, do they help each other to give birth and raise babies? Do women still
share songs of dance, beats to clap hands to, rhythms that make women jump up in
joy, that make women shake and sway their wide hips in abandon? Do women still
comfort each other in times of sadness? Because in this strength of SHARING, women used to hold women when women hurt. But
if we don’t have those She-roots,
women can’t hold a woman when she hurts.
women can’t hold men, when men hurt.
When did females stop believing in she?
When did She stop listening to Her?
Do you know, that if She stops listening
to Her, he does as well?
Look at Kenyans now, and what we have:
The Male Privilege with his entitlement,
and Women who say to the girl who is
abused by Team Mafisi - ‘she deserves - it’.
What the eff kind of nonsense is that, especially when it comes from a
woman? I look at these women and I shiver. I say I’m glad they shall never be
my mother. What kind of woman takes a sip of that bitter beverage,
swirls it in her mouth and spits out those ugly cruel words at another woman,
“she deserves it” ? Msweeech – that sound that is something between a
spit-and-a-sucking-in and collecting of the same spit that old men and women
make in their mouths, lips fused shut in a downturned curl that looks like a
dead fish – Look here. We all know what is behind The Male Privilege - it is
being a member of a Boys Club - a ‘Team
Mafisi’ like groupie where they defend themselves to the death. That’s right.
That’s correct. A species must defend it’s own and never cannibalize itself
otherwise it will eat itself to death – actually no – I lie, humans breed like
a virus…but yes >> Boys are tight<< The Male Privilege.
Do this. Visit today’s Womens Club and
you’ll find many not only clubbing each other behind their backs, but rolling
their sleeves up so that they can get down & dirty, right down to holding another
woman down for men to rape them. And after-words, she’ll kill her with words and rejection. Because women, when hurt, will still run to
another woman for comfort – but, the chain is broken. So they run to men. Your
broken girl runs for comfort - they run to men who are inbred with The Male Privilege – they run to ‘Team Mafisi’ , or to the
dad of Team Mafisi- The Sponsor – your husband and the father of your son.
And it shows through-out Kenyan society
where women batter each other, pound on each other in all arenas, in family, in
politics, in religion, in culture, in education, in tribe, in every single
aspect you can think of, women in Kenya are so divided it’s INSANE. What kills
me is the jealousy.
Mothers against daughters, mothers jealous of their daughters, mothers hating their daughters, mothers choosing-over
their daughters. And the daughters, fed with hatred, replicate and duplicate
and repeat on the hate. Again and again and again and again they spread the
virulent hatred against themselves in Tertiary Institutions, in the workplace,
in the neighborhoods, in schools, in politics – everywhere. Yes, women complain
that as Kenyans focus too much on the girl-child and that we’ve advanced, I say, wait - it looks like we’ve made progress, but in
reality? We haven’t. We haven’t. It looks good from far, it’s all glossed up
and shiny like a brand new shiny Maserati, but in reality, this team ‘Kenyan
Women’ is so ridiculously and ruthlessly far from good, it reeks to the core. She’s
your Daughter. Your sister. Your mother. Your cousin.
Why are you pulling She down, dear Kenyan
Woman – we were known as gentle
women.
The Male Privilege
So Mama, what do you tell your daughter,
who has passed her Form Four and is so excited, so excited, that she’s going to
college this sem? Will you tell her to ‘Be careful’? and if she’s abused or misused
will you scream ‘but you deserved it!!’ then send her off to a Rehab ran by the
same members of the Boys Club when
she becomes depressed; Oh the irony! Back to the same Team Mafisi that will sap
her inner-sweet-honey essence by force. Leaving a shell behind. And yes, she will fall into a serious depression,
because women have eliminated most of the safe spaces where they can talk as
women.
She, what will you tell your kid sister?
or best friend? as she packs to go to college? Will you tell her to say ‘No’ and scribble names of ‘who’s-who’ with fervent
instructions to avoid those on the black-list? And what advice will you, Mr.
Sponsor, give to your son who’s going to University this sem? Will you tetemeka from
within and tell him to ‘keep off’ your
girl? Or will you call her instead, your ‘sponsee’
and tell her, btw, that’s my son,
keep off him or I’ll withdraw my sponsorship? So Papa is paying fees for his
son and rent for his sponsee. And what
do you think members of The Male Privilege Team Mafisi will tell his kid bro,
or his ‘boy’? Fuck it and anything you want, take it and use it? Because after
all, wataDo?
In conclusion:
Exactly what is ‘Male Privilege’ ? In
Nai, it’s a lot Team Mafisi.
For all my wealth of ‘common’ sense and
knowledge, I admit readily that I didn’t grasp it fully – or get enfolded in a
back-breaking hug of understanding; until I read this Ebony interview * – where
I really got-it. Male privilege is an inborn attitude and demeanor that NEEDS
to be un-taught to our BOYS, and only when we as parents and guardians of the
youth do that, only when we feed the honey and milk nourishment of behavior
back into our boys , only then will
our daughters and girls be truly free to walk our streets and roads in both
daylight and darkness, only then will they stop being prey meals.
We took the stories away from women and
mothers, sisters, girls and young ladies and told them that singing a sweet
honey filled song will not help them, and when we stopped singing and the boys
stopped hearing those lyrics, they tried to do the next best thing, which was
to take the honey by force.
*Ebony Interview Link. << Please read that now
Nyakio N.
Munyinyi for the XpenSieve Report© 2016
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