The Difficulty of Saying Yes to Yourself

... it's an art.

and it is hard.

I used to constantly negate my life by beginning my sentences with, 'No, and -  but..' And maybe you do too - just that you don't notice..

What cut with my constant negation is that I kept taking little bits and pieces of my self-esteem out of my life box, ending up with a shell of who I am, who I was, who I HAD THOUGHT I was going to be.

Last year was desperate for me and you know I speak the truth, for those of you who've walked with me, or should I say STAGGERED and STUMBLED because I certainly didn't walk last year. My fine sassy, hip-swinging swagger is new, my head's now held high and my feet -  shod in boots - stomp the hot African dust and make it rise,  as I Nyakio-Walker (Not Johnny Walker) up and down Nairobi's pavements.

I'm in the YES realm. In the Yes mode, switched on and ready to GO GO GO!

It takes a lot.

Despite being told that sometimes we have to shed stuff and start all over, I found out in my dark journey that the real difficultly lay in what I had to pick up. And still have to. Yes, we get broken, yes, we fall and break into a million shattered pieces. That's okay from where I stand and in fact, it's EASY.

It's easy to let go and slide into debauchery and laziness and alcoholism and being an addict and telling the world, IT'S MY LIFE but  that's such a - (excuse my language or close your eyes or stop reading) - MINDFUCK statement. It's the same as constantly saying NO.

It's effin hard to fix that shit that you've laid down for yourself. And no matter, we all do, all of us have made our beds, looked at the made bed and decided, 'I'm not sleeping on THAT'  - and that's okay, you don't have to. But, starting over and buying new sheets - that's the tough bit.

That's where you have to start saying YES.

Start believing in yourself. Despite having horrendous images in your rear view/side mirror - images that you know YOU have caused, you still have to find the ability to say YES to yourself.

Picking up the broken pieces and glue-ing them together and starting all over, heck, don't let anyone tell you that it's easy. It's not. And to make matters worse, as you begin saying YES and putting yourself together, being positive and stepping out and purchasing glue for your parts, that's the point at which your 'friends' depart, you may have NIL support; and Halleluyah! - count on the Nay.sayers collectively joining into a huge fan club to explicitly and purposely put you BACK down, either to your face, or behind your back.

Say YES to yourself anyway.

Invest in yourself anyway. IT'S YOUR LIFE. (lol)

You ARE your best future business bet.
So, INVEST in yourself. Support yourself, begin by doing what is good for you, drop the bad habits whether it's ADDICTIONS or just a simple thing like staying up late.

Watch your language and remove the negative and minuses, unless of course, it's someone who is negating you. In that case, let them negate themselves right out of your life.

But stop negating yourself with; No, I can'ts, It's not for ME's and similar killer statements. Remember, if you were to invest eg, in ManU, and wanted to support them, you'd buy a ticket to go watch them LIVE in the UK, right? That single seat in that club costs money to sit on, and you pay THEM for seating rights. Right?

So, invest in yourself. Cheer yourself, say YES you can score, scream and shout and spend money on FAN CLUB  __________________<------- your name there. Buy yourself your own VIP SEAT.

Get it?

Don't settle for less. It's hard work but one day leads to two leads to three leads to three hundred and sixty five days which is a year.

I KNOW you've heard of the bucket and tap STORY so I won't dwell on it for too long, but yes, if you leave a bucket under a leaking tap, a drop a minute, eventually that bucket will fill. So with your moral, learn to say, YES, I can (duh, sounds so boring but it's true) and YES I WILL, and MEAN IT. Don't say Yes I can! Then mutter a few seconds later, 'aki, but how.....' and end up [al-shabbabing] yourself.

Throw out your terrorist thoughts, police your mind, and reach for the stars, after all like the poster says, there are footsteps on the moon, so whoever says the sky is the limit is a bloody liar!

Nyakio-On-Full-Throttle. If in doubt, flat out.

Nyakio J. Munyinyi for the XpenSieve Report© 2014

[Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to xPenSieve© with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Headline banner design by NJMunyinyi.]