Slender Vs Chubby

The topic of slender vs. chubby in reference to sexual performance in the bed is one which raises ire in many people, mainly due to the theme of ‘sex’ in itself, because of that old taboo  - sex and all bedroom issues are TMI and are not discussed in public, at least not in African culture. Which is both hypocritical and disturbing, as more and more often, sex is being discussed in forums, albeit anonymously, and disturbing because those forums are found in environments that are not favorable to a fun, open, tongue-in-cheek discussion, but in back-rooms where language use is suggestive and sometimes downright foul.  This piece is not a ‘dirty talk’, obscene, gossip piece, but a healthy, educative, amusing prose at how a little fat may go a long way in affecting our sex lives.

When perusing the web, there are numerous sites that blare out the negative side of men adding weight as they approach their middle age. Other sites aren’t picky – they simply plague men from the age of 18 upwards with tons of spam mail sent out by the millions – advertising the sale of products directed towards men - warning them about their large stomachs and challenging them to loose their pot-bellies so as to revert back into sexual beasts. Just incase your imagination is poor, the adverts offer shots of men in before & after photographs, one with the man looking absurdly miserable with a pronounced potbelly, the other of him smiling like a yawning lion – all teeth - while showing off an oiled set of  ‘sexy six packs’.

Groan, to the average man who has tried his level best to loose that ever-growing chunk of fat slowly inching its’ way down/ or up, his chest, covering his well-defined pectoral muscles with a visible layer of fat.

A longer stay in bed

Mature women ‘in-the-know’ smile.  Because while they may not shout it out from the rooftops of their homes, they know that sexual performance is usually rated higher when the man is – yes – chubby!

I kid you not. Researchers at Erciyes University released a study proving that men with excess body fat last longer in bed. The research which was conducted for a year, included both chubby men who had a higher count of body mass index or BMI, and slender to slim, fit and healthy men. The chubbier men were found to have higher levels of the ‘female’ estradiol sex hormone.  But, hands down, it was the chubby men who were placed as front-runners in sexual performance – heavier men were able to last up to 7.3 minutes, as opposed to slender men who lasted only 1.8 minutes!

The same study also shook another other earth-shattering myth – skinny or slim ‘fit’ men suffer more from premature ejaculation – “we found that patients with lifelong premature ejaculation were leaner than the healthy control cases” ,sources: A Gökçe^1,2 and O Ekmekcioglu¹

That’s lab test science. What do women say?

They prefer men with slightly more body fat. Women are inevitably attracted to men with a higher BMI. In another study, this time conducted with women, slender fit men with six-pack abs were tossed aside for men who had 12% more body fat. Why is this? It seems that women can tell by features alone, those men who are more likely to be healthy and who have higher hormone levels. In the study above, women picked men via photographs. These same men had been tested for both hormone and health-immunity levels. Guess what? Yes, all the chubby men that the women selected had higher health immune systems and more of that ‘hunk-stuff’ – testosterone.

Enough of science, can we gossip?

‘It’s all in a man’s head, sometimes when he knows he looks good, a man thinks that’s enough, and doesn’t try hard enough to please a woman.’ True or False?

There may be some truth in this, for a man who knows that he is a bit heavier may, by the very notion that he is at a disadvantage, take the time to study and learn female behavior plus likes and dislikes in bed, while men who spend time in the gym are reputed to spend hours in front of a mirror preening and posing and admiring the perfection of their ‘pecs’.

There is also the quick thought that when the ‘6-packer’ is in the gym tormenting himself for the sake of attracting ladies, the chubby guy is probably browsing bookstores or the web, looking for books with interesting titles such as, ‘How To Give Your Girlfriend 5 Orgasms In An Hour’, or relaxing in an café – I am sure you’ve maybe observed this phenomenon and wondered, ‘huh? what was that?’,  - when you see a chubby guy treating some drop-dead gorgeous female to a delicious fat-filled pizza or ice-cream, both of them giggling and having insane fun!

Humor as an aphrodisiac

Women like being cuddled* by nature and pillow talk after a good romp is usually top 10 on most women’s wish-list. In the past however, African culture dictated such frivolities as outright rubbish, but, today there is a smattering of men who do comply with these new requests and offer ‘humor-in sex’ and ‘pillow-chats’.

Perhaps because of the thousands of external disapproval stimuli the average pot-bellied man receives in a single hour, whether physically or while surfing the web, overweight men may suffer more from low self-esteem. As a way to ‘make up’ for their ‘deficiencies’, they are more prone to lean back on pillows and coddle a woman.  Plus, they are further likely to crack jokes or carry out a light banter that will most likely put the woman at ease – remember, he has ‘staying power’, a full 5 minutes longer, so, he can afford to query, joke, tease, and play. A psychologist may argue that because chubby people give off all these supposed bad first impressions, they tend to negate that by being jocular, talkative and sensitive.

*cuddly=soft, lovable, fluffy, warm, huggable

Older and wiser?

When it comes to experience, you have to hand it down to the older man, after all, your average pot-bellied middle-aged man has a million hours more bedroom time (and thus performance) than does a 20 year old university super stud. Add more charisma, a sheen of confidence, and accomplishment to the mix. Aside from this patina of success, which in itself is a super aphrodisiac to any woman who has her hormones in order, could it be that it is also the ‘fat factor’ that makes a woman glance twice at the pot-bellied man who winks at her from across the room? If he were the exact same age but slender, or skinny, the question arises, would she be as attracted to him?

Phat conclusions

Women – maybe it’s time for you to really look twice and even thrice, at the 12 - 15% dude as a greater-staying-power-possibility and reject the media hype regarding the skinny gym-type jocks.

Men - perchance it’s time to trash all those men’s health magazines, ditch your gym membership and give in to another beer -  plus those double-cheese-king-size burgers that are advertised weekly at your nearest burger joint. After all, why should chubby guys have all the fun?

^{sources: 1}Department of Urology, Erciyes University, Kayseri, Turkey

²Department of Urology, Tayfur Ata Sokmen Medical School, Mustafa Kemal University, Hatay, Turkey

By Nyakio Munyinyi-Okallo • 2013

For The xPenSieve Report