A Graceful Exit

Stop trying to repair your heart by putting it back into the hands that broke it.

It’s like a bee trying to get past your clear glass windows… it keeps hitting on the glass and …. Nada. It then flies back a bit in reverse and comes rushing back even harder… only to smash against the glass again. Those of you who watch science fiction movies know the importance of a Force Field Shield, that invisible thing that encircles a Ship to keep it safe while under attack from enemy alien Ships…

That’s what men do when they decide that a relationship is done and over.

They drop the Force Field Shield around themselves and the woman is considered an enemy. Most women don’t get that. After all… she gave BIRTH to his kids!! Doesn’t that count for something?

Heck yes! It’s his blood and he cares for them as an extension of himself (sometimes)… but you? He’s moved on. He’s probably also moved out of your matrimonial home. Or thrown you out. But the relationship is – over. As in #dead.dead.dead.

And it hurts me when I see a beautiful gorgeous intelligent young woman batter herself mentally, whacking her soul and spirit incessantly by ‘trying’ to gain back ‘her man’s affection’ when a relationship is either dead, or in its' death throes – rattling and clanking around and pouring blood all over the place from severed arteries. Note: this article is about stopping the woman from self-mutilation, not on how or why men switch women off. Because they do – like a light switch. Flip. Off. Enter Dark Territory. And once a man has decided that the woman doesn’t deserve his affection – he gives her the opposite – pure mathaa.

Ladies. Stop trying to repair your heart by putting it back into the hands that broke it.

There is that place in all relationships where there is a chalk line – that place where ukipita, ni basi. You’re offside. Draw out your own boundaries… for your sake. Because insisting on handing your heart and soul to him over and over again is going to result in a terrible outcome. Many women stay in abusive marriages for the sake of their children, or so they say - and it might be true to an extent that it IS hard to be an earner when you have young or school going children and you’re used to a certain lifestyle (or lack of), but the point here is that there is no reason to continually and persistently give your heart to someone who will break it again. And again. Nothing is gained.

Change his mind? No honey. As much as you have his maybe 3 or 4 kids, he’s not going to change his mind. Or switch it back on. You have an old boyfee who bugged you back in the day don’t you?  It’s over now isn’t it? Do you give him time of day today? No you don’t!! Now.. that’s how your present heartbreaker feels but because of emotional misdirection, as women we often go back time after time to the site of the grave where the relationship ended, crying needlessly, pointlessly and unsuccessfully, for a resurrection.  

Less than 30 years ago marriages ‘lasted’ only because society frowned upon men rejecting what was termed as their marriage responsibilities. The church as a local entity was involved in marriages and single women were called spinsters and were virtual outcasts in society, their children branded as ‘bastards’ and bullied terribly in schools. Divorce was uncommon -  a divorcee seen as ‘rejected goods’ a ‘wanton loose woman’ often portrayed as having colossal sexual appetites and scorned by members of the local Mothers Union. The divorced man was pitied and often got remarried to a younger ‘girl’ who raised both his kids and theirs.

So, if this was 30 years ago, maybe, just maybe, I would ask women to try and reclaim the lost ground in their marriage relationships if they are not mentally or physically abused. Maybe. Because the wounds of the heart heal much more slowly than the wounds of the flesh, not only in you Honey, but also in the children who do see their mother crying daily, their mother sad, mistreated, abused, insulted, degraded, hated, disliked, shouted at, despised, ignored….

And Honey-gal, please take a moment to think about the way some children feel totally helpless and harbor intense rage internally because of the defeated feelings of their utter desperate hopelessness. Children DO pray, and when their mother is constantly unhappy and beaten violently, who do they get mad at? Yup. God -  who isn’t answering their prayers; or the government system, which doesn’t provide solutions. So I ask once more, why stay? Why ‘give the heartbreaker another chance?’ to do what? Break your soul and spirit AGAIN?

We’re in 2014. A single mom is a single mom and Obama is a son brought up by a single mother.

Envisage a plan where you see your heart as fertile ground for growing a fruitful crop of love, laughter, peace and calmness, interspersed with many moments of glorious joy and intense instants where you can love and are loved so deeply – moments where you can become breathless again from the sheer wonder of life.

But you cannot achieve this if you keep giving your heart to someone who relentlessly breaks it.

    

So. Take your heart back gracefully – think of it like this. Have you seen (or maybe it IS you) how certain women pick up their Birkin bags in a restaurant, slinging them elegantly on the crook of their elbows and walking out gracefully – when done right it’s beautiful to watch - people may even turn their heads and look - wondering, ‘who is she?’  Do this with yourself. Pick yourself up gracefully from your current situation and walk away elegantly. Take your heart back and fix it yourself. Treasure your heart!! Concentrate on your children – raise them to be respectable members of society. If they are boys, raise them to treat women with grace and respect and that can only come from you first by treating YOURSELF with grace and respect. Healing takes years, it’s not an overnight miracle, but there has to be a starting point where you take matters into your own hands.

Darkness cannot ever overcome darkness. But a little candle flame can light a dark cavern, so grab your heart from the hands of the person who has switched you off, and take it back into yourself where you can begin to mend it by filling it with light and love.

NYAKIO J MUNYINYI for The xPenSieve Report © February 2014

A really Fussy dude

Photo credit
http://themetapicture.com/on-valentines-day/

I really really dislike Val Entine.

I shouldn’t say hate because that would be a furious word and I’m trying to be calm here. But seriously, who does this dude think he is? First off, in some places they call him SAINT. Psheeewwhh!! The things people get up to (or down to) in his name are far from saintly unless by saintly we refer to the state of Heavenly Bliss of those who perform or are performed on, go to.  Then again, we don’t need Val Entine to get a Visa into the State of Heavenly Bliss.  I can give you the name of my Boo, (I won’t) but he does the job quite well thank you – gets me there pap! And I know I’m not alone -  many of you have reached that State without Val Entine and his help, or am I wrong??

So two crosses against this dude.

Another one is, he hails from I don’t know where and is invading our culture. (Jeeeez…). I totally agree with a friend of mine who enunciated clearly and flatly with not a glimmer of his sparkling white teeth showing (maybe that was because we were chatting online), that he ‘doesn’t do Val Entine’. Phew.

·      Dudes, don’t do another dude for the sake of your chickas.

·      Dudes, if you do dudes, then maybe you can do Valentine.

Actually, that would be pretty neat, a day set aside for Gay Love… hmmm…

And the lovely ladies can have Val’s twin sister, Valery, be the honorary patronness of the day – say, 15^th Feb?? hmmm…

Ok, I’m side-tracking.. Snap! Yes, culture..  got a joke the other day on my WhatsApp regarding this Val Entine and his culture of how ‘dudes’ must give out ‘gifts’:-

The Kikuyu girlfriend and her Luo boyfriend:

On Valentines day, he M-pesa’s her 500ksh.

Njeri: (furiously) Swity Seriously! Mapenzi yetu ni 500? Kwanza Val Entines’ day? You are so mean! I regret meeting you Otis!!!

Oti: Jaber, stop torturing yourself with lack of informations! I only sent you M-pesa to get youa full names. Am at DT Dobie and I didn’t know which names to put on the logbook…. Donge!

Expectations: Val Entine demands excessive overspending. Large sums of money that should normally be spent over a period of say..3 years, are expected to be spent on his behalf between sunrise and midnight.  And where I wonder, is all this excess supposed to sprout from? Hardly 13 days after the harshest and longest month on the calendar (January), Val Entine expects exclusive hotel rooms, the finest wines and champagnes and exorbitant gifts, including colour coded everything ---- oh la la!! Whoa!! I’d forgotten!! The colour theme!! I understand weddings and colour co-ordination, infact, I totally agree that Brides can get very frenzied, over excited and over-hyper about the colour scheme, colour co-ordination and colour themes of their weddings, that they can go glassy eyed and look like someone has given them an electric shock if just ONE colour is just 5% off the wrong shade… but Val Entine? A dude who goes terrorist-ballistic when you dare to wear another colour other than RED and more recently, RED AND BLACK??

Sigh.

Shaking head…

A rose is still a rose even if it’s another colour, but NO!! Dare you to give Oti’s girlfriend a bunch of YELLOW roses for Val Entine. She’d probably attack you with the whole bunch. Her and the whole female population of Kenya.. and without understanding. Because, si, a rose is still a rose even if it’s another colour… isn’t it the THOUGHT that counts??

Should I go on??

Aha! Food… and did I mention culture? Ok. Food and culture..

We didn’t invent it. The Swiss did (I think)… so.. why should the product Chocolate be such a huge seller?!! Yes. Pity the dude who goes home bila a box of (excruciatingly expensive) chocolate. And not the chocolate in a tin with the name “Cocoa powder” or “Ovaltine” or “Milo”, which would make sense because you can both sip a cup of deliciously Hot Chocolate later on after the Val Entinexercises but … NO!! don’t even try that!! You may be put on nil-by-mouth!! Why only this particular food product Valentine insists that is given to each and every female so she can … hmm, I don’t know. Seriously, on seeing that box of ridiculously priced Chocolate what are we supposed to do? Jump up and down like a puppy dog and lick him all over his mutt? For me, if you want to make me really happy where food is concerned a good Nyam Choms will do the trick. See, I’m all for culture!! Chocolate makes me gain weight plus gives me pimples anyway. PLUS I am not depressed. It’s a known ‘anti-depressant’, so I’m apt to ask you rather sarcastically, ‘do I look depressed?’ No to chocolate sales. Bring on the BBQ’s!!

Last but not least is that Valentine is a dictator the likes of Mugabe (sorry Mugabe Lovers!). His master idea incorporates the fact that if you’re a member of the Single party then you’re an X. A sad x. A crying x. Valentine’s X is a negative. It stands for Xcommunicated. And Xcluded. Not fair game at all!! He forgets that many singles are infact an Xuberantly Xtraordinarily happy bunch of bananas (both sexes included) and that more often than not, those singles choose to remain in the Xcamp* (*details of membership include entry into various cites within the State of Heavenly Bliss more than once a year).

As for those in a relationship - Gals, a word of advice: if your man chooses to tell you he loves you on every other day but doesn’t mention the word in the presence of Valentine, does it mean your man suddenly dislikes you? NO!! Bring your expectations down and stop believing in non-cultural shoulds and shouldn’ts. Sigh. Val Entine marches into our world every year causing mayhem and havoc within relationships - and so many young girls and women mistakenly bundle their relationship status on a single factor – being ‘acknowledged’ on Val Entine’s day. If your man doesn’t give you a CARD on Val Entine’s day it’s a Crime of Herculean proportions – triggering off nuclear bombs in a perfectly beautiful relationship, where the fall out lasts for months if not years by such statements like, ‘you didn’t buy me a rose on Val Entines Day in 1988’….

NONSENSE!!!  

You’all – Val Entine like I said, is a typical dictator -  your emotions and your man’s finances are distressed by a fickle economic character who benefits the hotel, food, printing, and advertising industries…etc. Pahleese!! Let your love relationships be founded on the heart and soul and in the reality that is present and true, not for  ‘Saint’ Val Entine’s  drama Queen hoopla.

It is for these simple reasons that many men are all up in arms against this Dude. I shall close by saying that I totally agree with this currently circulating WhatsApp statement from NAOBAH.

Nyakio J. Munyinyi for The xPenSieve Report © February 2014.

why it's called an ASSumption

I was wide awake at 3:00 pm on that sweltering hot afternoon, as wide awake as I was exactly 12 hours before at 3:12 in the a.m…. yap. Honestly, the stuff I’d found to keep me awake that night and day was totally potent and would probably replace miraa, Lol!! And although I’m laughing now a few days later, let me assure you that on that particular night I was thoroughly downright upset as my brain ticked at the speed of some meteorite in outer space – out there somewhere– hurtling itself towards Earth. I had pulled every stunt imaginable to induce sleep… including going onto FaceBook to find some night owls – zip - opening the windows wide open to let in cool air -  wapi? Reading a book off Kindle – boring!! But to no avail, I was stunningly wide-awake.

So how did I get to be so wide awake and STILL wide awake for over 24 hours without a headache, a hangover, and so super hyper that my daughter said I was like, 13x a Duracell battery??

Rewind to scene a few days before:

Last week I’d been having this strange on-off frog-in-throat-blocked nose-fluey feeling for about 2 days and when it flared up into a painful sore throat, I trooped into the neighborhood pharmacy and asked for ‘something to stop this’, and the kind Doc gave me some over the counter Cough syrup and then asked me to pick some Coldcap tablets from the shelf behind me.

Weka pause.

I’m a mshamba, I’ve been in Nairobi all of nine (9) months, and I didn’t know they had Coldcap capsules in BLUE and ORANGE… (stop laughing!!) when I left Nairobi in 2010  Coldcap was PINK- so my hand hovered uncertainly over the many options, then picked the brightest one after seeing the delightful inscriptions  - DAY TIME, NIGHT TIME.

Done.

Bounced home.

Forward to hours later, and I was in my bedroom sleepily looking at the box wondering - so what is the difference, really, between the day time and night time?? My 1^st Assumption: Surely the daytime orange is simply minus the ‘whatever makes you sleep’ chemical?

Well…. the incredible state of being wide awake was via the 2 orange coloured - perfectly legal (simply because over-the-counter-drugs are legal, and this super tab was not even a prescription drug ) pills. My mistake was I forgot to read the instructions. Well, I didn’t forget per se.., I did read them, but because I was sleepy, I ignored the instructions and swallowed the wrong coloured pills (you may heave big sigh here!!!).  My 2^nd Assumption was made 24 hours later: The orange capsule is not ‘simply minus’ a compound, it has an added additive that keeps you clearly awake!!

Sasa, before some trooper comes along and asks if I’m trying to advertise some miraa based ‘legal pill’, let me be quick to clarify that there’s a point to this short blog – and that is that often, we make terrible mistakes through ‘assuming’.

Apart from the sarcastic slogan which amplifies that ‘assume makes an ass out of u and me’, an assumption is an ugly ass vehicle to drive  (kind of like a Probox ), because it is a solid belief held by the ‘assumer’ – and it’s based on nothing. Just as we avoid Proboxes on the road, we also avoid people who walk around making assumptions about us. Why? Because an assumption is a solid belief bila Proof.  And unfortunately, I will raise my hand and say YES, I have often been under the influence of this mistaken form of thinking.  I had been for a long time rather assuming about various people’s lives, making wrong judgments and being a hard liner, refusing to see that there are large gray areas in-between the black and the white.

Fine, sticks and stones may break my bones, but that thing about ‘words can never hurt me’, oh, HA HA!! They do. Especially when someone real close to you makes a careless remark probably punctuated somewhere in there with the apologetic (or not) statement : “oh, I thought….!”  Unfortunately, depending on your mindset, that particular statement may stay with you for a long time, festering in your thoughts and slowly brewing a simmering anger. Yes, there are those who couldn’t give a damn about what you think or say about them, but there are souls out there who do and they hurt when assumed – and not all hurting people believe in turning the other cheek.

What changed my hard liner thinking?

Wisdom, age, an appreciation of life itself, and human nature made me stop this terrible habit and I no longer make careless whispers or talk, regardless of the authenticity of the information set before me. Experience too, because I have also resided in the house of being ‘assumed’ – when some around me thought I was ‘ok’ just because I often smiled and told a lot of terrible but extremely funny jokes.  The truth is that no one likes to see hurt, pain or neediness in others. So we quietly throw our fears under the Assume Blanket about those who are hurting, or in pain, or in need – we make up stories about them based on ‘air’ and despite having no proof, stamp that person as ‘WRITE.ASSUMPTION.HERE’. Whether in the negative or positive, sticking a Label onto anybody is a nasty habit.

I now take the time to divide my priorities between those who I truly care about and those who are on the peripherals of my life, taking the time to listen carefully and meditate on what I have been told by the individual themselves, rather than listen to a whole litany of hogwash of nonsense from some third party.

But there are those who lie, you say…

Duh! Yes, there are, and that is when you listen ever more judiciously to the lie, sorting out the truths from the half lies and the full lies. Sorting out the ‘gray areas’ that instead of assuming, we should individually take the time to carefully decipher before making an ‘oh, I thought’ comment. And yes, you can tell the truth from fact. This can be illustrated simply: Take a piece of music that you absolutely love, put on headphones or earphones then pick out each instrument as it plays, one by one. Plus each vocalist, including the background singers.

By practicing and repeating the above we can train our ears to hear individual players in each and every orchestra, if we so wish. It’s also by dropping it like it’s hot – ‘IT’  being our Assuming Habits,  that we can learn to really hear those we care about.

My assumptions about a simple capsule led me to take a wrong one. Assumptions about people are much more devastating and may have far more serious repercussions than a simple loss of sleep and some super hyperactivity, and if you have ever been judged by someone bila proof, then you know exactly how much it sucks, so instead of repeating that Karma cycle onto ourselves, let us all stop being assuming Proboxes.

Nyakio J Munyinyi for The xPenSieve Report © February 2014

Who's the Cat??

Straight out chit chat from the right flank. Or left -  if you’re left handed – but this is true, isn’t it?? Lmao. Comments!!!

So this thing about men being like dogs and chickas like cats is all erroneous and downright counterclockwise – I think it’s the other way round – Yap, women are like DOGS and men are the CATS…..read on…

 The Faithful Pooch

Have you ever seen a chika new in love – and btw - it doesn’t matter how old or young said female is…!!?? She hangs around her man like a dog.. tail wagging incessantly ..following her man everywhere. As long as she’s around him, she’s reasonably content. She stands still and chill when they’re together and he meets a buddy, she sits quietly where he sits, is patient, listens quietly even if she has no idea wtf he’s saying – she will sit in a car chilling, or sit in the bar, listening to him with his ‘boys’. A gal, like a dog, assesses situations carefully. She checks out her mans friends, sniffing them quietly. If she doesn’t like them, like a dog she will tolerate them on his behalf, but won’t go out of her way to make friends. If she likes them, well, she’s just plain friendly to them, to the point that like dogs, the owner looks at his friend and asks, ‘it’s wat my ka dog likes you so much?’  lmao!!

But if the dog outright continues to growl low in the throat - you know that low low growl - yap, women have them too – letting the man know without a doubt – I don’t like this friend!!  Women have that ‘way’ about them, just like dogs. of telling her man uh uh – but, if he insists, she reluctantly settles down and lowers her hackles – but still keeps a watchful eye – not on her man – but on her man’s buddy…

By the way, have you noticed how dog owners calm down visitors to their homes – when the dog rumbles? It’s a two-way discussion – to the dog, it’s ‘calm down! This is a friend!’ and to the visitor it’s – ‘ she’s all bark and no bite – let her sniff your hand’. Then there’s the proverbial question before you visit your buddies house, “mbwa kali yupo?” in reference to… duh..the madam….

Lmao!!

Women, like dogs, are predominantly loving but also very protective of their ‘owners’  - growling and displaying an ugly flank when any perceived suspicious person approaches their man. Here we’re talking about strangers. Read: Women. When a female comes to your door and mama opens the door, it’s like, ‘who are you? What do you want? You’re from where? You know my man how?...... they tend to protect their boundaries from – new dogs – these new dogs aren’t allowed anywhere near her man or home… there’s a pissing boundary and other dogs ain’t allowed to cross that pee line - and if they insist – wah, it’s a real bitch of a dog fight!!

But.. she can hang out with her former gal friends to kingdom come  - if she can escape the house she will be all over the neighbor hood having the time of her life with her buddies, and… when it’s time to part ways jioni,  they don’t all troop into her compound… uh uh… they go their separate ways.. Weird, women are also extremely faithful - when you kick your poor dog it crawls back to you, belly down. Over and over again.

Leave a dog at home and when Mr. Owner comes back the dog is all over him, jumping, barking, wagging it’s tail and running round in circles, like ‘’I’m so happy to see you!!” They don’t care that they might make your suit all muddy.. they’re just happy to see you… a gal in love with her man jumps on him when she sees him… like a dog, she runs in circles around him, making him dizzy, exuberant in her excessive temperament, welcoming him home, fetching slippers and asking for hugs, plus kisses on her sweaty smelly nose coz she’s just stepped out of the kitchen. Ignore her and like a dog… she will whine and retreat with a mournful face, looking over her shoulder at you. Later on she will cautiously approach you, sit near you, quietly assessing your mood, hoping and waiting for a single pat on the head…

Other ways gals be like dogs…. every so often, they are loud and incessantly noisy. Barking endlessly  - especially when you need some peace and silence. When the moon is up… oh man oh man, do your neighbors dogs keep you awake as they wail all night… am I wrong?? Hahahahaha!! Sorry ladies, but when tantrums hit, gal-friends and boyfriends alike are kept awake with the relentless howling and wailing …. Phone calls, whatsapp or facebook chats, click click click – ding! Incoming messages! Click click click! Ding! (or whistle on your Samsung..) don’t be surprised if a gal calls you at 2 in the a.m. with a horror story that you’re supposed to listen to!! Or read!! Lmfao!!

Women, like dogs -  love bones - weka ‘gifts’ hapo.  Give a gal a gift and she’ll wag her tail and bend over backwards on her knees for you (or forwards..) – and the bigger the bone the happier the dog. Women thrive on attention, on loads of petting (yap!) and they love ‘treats’ - especially surprise treats… and oh!! If you leave her with a real huge and agreeable treat, and disappear for a couple of days, she’s quite chill. But leave her bila food and necessities -  and – acha, when you get home and open that door, dude that bitch can eat you alive!

The Kool Cats

Niggas be like Kool cats. Cool, calm and collected… A cat is never ruffled. Ever. hmm, unless... it's been chased by a dog - but normally a cat is a cool character.. And most cats are so into themselves. Hours. Hours. Hours… have you watched a cat grooming itself… men quietly groom themselves – and (unlike women) they don’t make a fuss about it – they will just do it. You notice new shoes, haircut, new shirt, new car – bought very quietly. Bought ‘Alone’. Cats and Niggas be loners in certain situations. They don’t hack interference. Uh Uh. Especially when stalking prey – they do it with feline grace. First they observe their prey. Quietly. They go all still while their one-track-mind is focused and wah, when a cat jumps on the prey – it hardly misses.

But when it does….Lmao!! That cat is so frustrated!! Hahahahahahahahaaa!! Gets a funny look on it’s face, like, how did I miss THAT fine piece of … mouse..?? LMAO!!

Niggas -  like cats - also know how to retreat appropriately. If it’s dangerous, cats retreat. They won’t go there. At all!! Other ways that cats are also very still and silent is like your man - you won’t know when he's home. He’s over by the corner or in the study or whatever… quiet, doing his thing. Cats though - they can be sneaky. And devious – you never know what’s on a cat’s mind. You might think – cat’s with me… you turn around and the cat is up a tree and you didn’t even know how it got there. Tee hee hee!! And the Nine lives?? Niggas be reckless like crazy!! If it can be done, dude will do it. The wackier the deed – the better -  Mind you, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Again and again.  Lmao… does that remind you of some guys you know? You wonder, why does he even do that?? They go places and do that whacky wild stuff or chase the impossible chick or quit work suddenly - actions where you’d think they would die but they emerge smiling - hitching their pants up and kabisa practically crooning.. or rather – purring….

Ladies, ‘Fat’ cats are content, especially the ‘house’ ones - they won’t eat the … mouse in the house (in front of you .. take note), but there won’t be rats or lizards or any nasty stuff in your home either. And if you ‘tame’ him enough, he’ll be content to stick around the house. Feed him, groom him. Give him everything he needs and he’ll always come home and even purr when you tickle him under the chin or just rub his back. But even then, sorry, he’s thankless.. he’ll take off once in a while and you may notice that the neighbours new batch of kittens kinda look like your cat!! Now, if you have a special breed of cat, you might seek compensation… but you’ll need Proof that that’s your precious cat’s bloodline!!! Hahahahaha!!

Cats also sleep a lot.. and dare you wake a cat up from it’s nap… it will look at you, move to another spot where you can’t get at it… and …. sleep.. but, it may wake up and disappear at night.. after all cats, like most guys, are nocturnal.

A gutter cat is a gutter cat is a gutter cat. You can’t tame it. Ever. Take that dude home and girl… wow, trouble!! They are bad news… first off, they will look at you suspiciously every single move you make. And will steal from you while looking at you sideways  -  plus  - they will leave every night, coming home in the wee nocturnal hours and sleeping the whole darn day. Have you lived in a housing estate where - when the cats are in heat you can’t sleep for all the screeching?? Lmao. What’s the name of the song?? “the Neighbours’ know His name!!” That’s your man in there and no… he doesn’t give a damn – you go collect your cat and you may end up being scratched. You see… unlike dogs, you kick your cat, or pull it’s tail, or try to train it - it doesn’t matter how long it’s been your cat, it will draw your blood. Dudes, like cats, resent restrictions and whether it’s a street, gutter, or fat cat – read human male -  you can’t tie a cat down – Hell NO! Cats are faithless, arrogant and proud, just like many a dude… if a cat stays in your house, it’s because it desires to, not because you’ve tied it down.

And if that cat leaves, it rarely, if ever, comes back…

And finally… have you ever seen a dog when it’s chasing a cat?? It’s ferocious… and if the cat is lucky, it springs up to a level where the dog can’t pounce on it …. When being chased, that cat has the same darn expression as a dude who is running from marriage or some chika he doesn’t want to be with…!!! Hahahahaha…. If the cat gets to a tree branch or roof top where the ‘bee-aich’ cannot… it looks at said dog with a cool guise like, ‘uta-do??!!’

As for the dog.. if it catches the poor cat, woiyee, what follows is sad .. basically that cat’s life is over - metaphorically and figuratively... But if it doesn’t, the ‘poor’ dog sits under the spot where the cat has leaped for safety and howls like crazy because…. Well…the cat got away!!

Lmao…

www.old-print.com

Nyakio J Munyinyi for The xPenSieve Report © January 2014