Hmmmm….
And here I ask you dear reader, what is
so wrong about a bloody relationship?
I’m not a Barbie, never have been – I
just didn’t play with enough dolls when I was younger – blame it on my Dad who
didn’t want my mother to give me the only products in the stores
back-in-the-day – a ‘white dolly’. He was totally against the idea that his
beautiful black girl should be seen hugging a ‘white’ toy, or that he or my
mother should spend a single hard earned shilling on such nonsense. Instead I
got dumped with cars and trucks and lego bricks and … books.
So I never did do the whole ‘Barbie-doll’
feeding thing, washing, dressing, hugging, coddling, kissing, caring,
nurturing, tea party shee-bang that most little girls went through. Instead I
was outdoors carving roads of mud for my Matchbox ® toy cars and scrambler
bikes.
And later, I hung out with the boys
because the girls insisted on their Tea Party Meetings, whereas I was befuddled
by such gobbledygook and preferred kicking a soccer ball in impromptu matches
with the sons of the Cooks and Gardeners and male Couzo’s wherever we went
visiting as a family.
The dramatic Queen Bee emotions that
fuel many a Drama Queen were unbeknown by myself – and – happily – by a good ¾
of the Kenyan boy.teen.male population. Why? Because girls develop these
emotions over relationships as they enter their teens and emerge from boarding
schools fully entangled in Mills & Boon and Danielle Steele novels. Seriously, if English Literature covered Mills
& Boons 99% of girls would get A+ and they could begin careers either as
writers of Soap Opera’s or the now defunct HallMark Romance TV channel.
Meanwhile, the male species is
thankfully separated from all this drama by being enrolled by wise fathers in
segregated all-boys-boarding-schools where football, rugby and other ‘Ruff n
Tuff’ physical activities are the order of the day, and hence, when they
emerge, fresh and newly certified with ‘KSPCE’… their first honest long term contact with the female
species is – either in the work place, or in Campus.
Lmao!!
A male friend told me years ago that
when he emerged from years of boarding school and joined Campus he was nonplussed
by the unrelenting pressure of emotions emitted by the female species, plus the
constant incessant ‘howling’ - and in a frantic effort to survive, he retreated.
Became aloof, reserved and disconnected from all females… tapping when
necessary but keeping emotionally detached.
Put in that fairly simple context, maybe
you’all realize why dealing with the opposite sex becomes too much of an issue
and the simplest choice becomes – no fight. In fact, the more chilled and bloodless
a relationship, the better – it’s ‘civilized’ and ‘neat’ and ‘tidy’. But I
think that’s pure bosh. If you can’t
fight FOR love what’s the point of living
through a cold ‘tidy’ unemotional
relationship. Kwani, what are you?
A piece of furniture that’s buying another
piece of furniture because you will ‘match’ and ‘go well together’? Lmao!!! Seriously, where do you stand? How much effort do you put into a relationship that you
think is worth your time and effort? We’re not talking about ‘chips funga’
or taps
– I’ve seen enough Bees and Niggas spending
tons of dough for the sake of the chase, period, then drop it like it’s hot a few weeks later after they’ve wrung out every
last drop of physical gratification. No. I’m asking you about those once in a
lifetime ‘I wona be with this one for a
long time and do the family thing’. (forever
after is for Fairy Tales..), so - would you bleed for her? Stress the preposition. Not with her but for her, once
you get past the shock that females nowadays are mostly Barbies….and gals, once
you get past the fact that all guys are dogs…
So, would you bleed for him or her?
Would you go out with a sword plus bunched
up fists and Tae-Kwondo leg kicks and take Life head-on?
 |
| Lady Fate courtesy of: http://antipodeanwriter.wordpress.com |
Real dirty fights
where you battle with that Lady Fate
and with the nasty dude called Time who hurtles
time-bombs at you, the sudden revelations about his or her past, the stresses
of their psycho family and whispered innuendoes, the illnesses, the crippling financial
setbacks, the heart aches, the intense worries, the need for deep silences and
fast get-aways that are almost
impossible to find ….. should I go on ..no, you fill in the rest… So, can you
fight that particular war?
Because it’s a war. It’s a LOVE war
because nature doesn’t accept that love can last, at least not in these times,
and couples are torn apart by LIFE. To
hold onto your chosen choice of life partner, the minute you make that decision
that, this is SHE – or HE - the war
is on.
Wars are bloody, as is a good physical
satisfying fight - a good boxing match may leave you with a black eye, a broken
nose and a bitten ear… whoops Year,
or two, or three, or ten, where you wonder, what happened to TIME? You wake up one morning and realize Time has vanished,
and you’re torn up and worn out and washed-up emotionally…because – well, your
relationships are emotion-less. Are
you ready to fight and get down and bloody for your relationship? Are you ready
to bleed for it? To take the punches
and give back better and harder? Because I believe that we get a certain sense
of satisfaction for doing so. Fighting for one’s happiness and joy instead of giving
in to tantrums or being so cold that you turn away when the going gets tough - basically letting life punch you into a corner
– and the ref declares a ‘knock-out’. And for those of you who say, ‘it
hurts!!’… well duh! Of course it hurts, when did blows not hurt? Life doesn’t
hold back her punches, never did. So, rethink your relationships. Run like
a Kenyan marathon runner away from
any relationship if you don’t want to get hurt. Or buckle up and get training
and ready for a bloody bleeding fight.
As for the gals, a word.
There is this song that amplifies what a
load of girls have done for years – don’t be cheated that it’s a ‘recent 1990’s’
girls hangups - it’s an ‘ATT’ that’s
been there since time immemorial (read
Adam and Eve) and this girl is totally gone in her head - before, during and
after endless howling and weeping sessions …. Read these lyrics below and tell
me if you can’t think of at least 3 chikas
who you know that are in this type of
depressive state:-
"Waiting For Superman"
She’s watching the taxi driver, he
pulls away
She’s been locked up inside her
apartment a hundred days
She says, “Yeah, he’s still coming,
just a little bit late
He got stuck at the laundromat
washing his cape”
She’s just watching the clouds roll
by and they spell her name like Lois Lane
And she smiles, oh the way she smiles
She’s talking to angels,
Counting the stars
Making a wish on a passing car
She’s dancing with strangers,
Falling apart
Waiting for Superman to pick her up
In his arms, yeah, in his arms, yeah
Waiting for Superman
She’s out on the corner trying to
catch a glimpse
Nothing’s making sense
She’s been chasing an answer, a sign
lost in the abyss,
This Metropolis
She says, "Yeah, he’s still
coming, just a little bit late
He got stuck at the Five and Dime
saving the day”
She says, "If life was a movie,
then it wouldn’t end like this,
Left without a kiss."
Still, she smiles, the way she
smiles, yeah
She’s talking to angels,
She’s counting the stars
Making a wish on a passing car
She’s dancing with strangers,
She’s falling apart
Waiting for Superman to pick her up
In his arms, yeah, in his arms, yeah
She’s waiting for Superman...
...to lift her up and take her
anywhere
Show her love and flying through the
air
Save her now before it’s too late
tonight
Oh, at the speed of light
And she smiles
She’s talking to angels,
She’s counting the stars
Making a wish on a passing car
She’s dancing with strangers,
She’s falling apart
Waiting for Superman to pick her up
In his arms, yeah, in his arms, yeah
She’s waiting for Superman...
...to lift her up and take her
anywhere
Show her love, oh, and flying through
the air
Save her now before it’s too late
tonight
She’s waiting for Superman.
Honey, wake up,
get up, get real. Life is NOT a movie or a Mills & Boons novel where you’ll
meet your man and he’ll march you off into a stunning sunset. Hysterics and
being a drama queen will get you nowhere… and there’s NO superman who’s coming
to get you. Lmao!!
If you want a
REAL relationship, then get real and
start training.
Bottom line.
Real relationships hurt. You have to fight, and you will get bloody. So, yes, I Nyakio, do bleed too much in my
relationships.
Do you?
Nyakio J Munyinyi for The xPenSieve
Report © January 2014
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