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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

WHEN I HAVE TO CLEAN UP YOUR TOXIC MESS


When I was a kid my dad would keep telling me off, ‘Nyakio, stop being so CONTRARY!!’ pronounced : (con-tray-ree) I’d peer at him with my huge eyes and wonder, ‘whaaaat!!??! Ok, first off, I had no idea what that ‘big’ word meant (I was 6)… so after a couple of times of being told off, I looked it up in his humongous Oxford Dictionary (yup – no computers or Google back then in the 1960’s…) first searching for the word under ‘K’, getting nowhere, then after asking him how it was spelt, I finally found a definition which went something like:-
{(a) perversely inclined to (i) disagree or to (ii) do the opposite of what is expected or desired: she is sulky and contrary where her work is concerned} . Well, I wasn’t a sulky child, far from it, I was more like… shy and withdrawn, so I disagreed with my father’s portrayal  - because as far as my six year old self was concerned - it didn’t apply to me.
End of story.
For about 20 years. When I came up against that word again. 
Well, it kind of stumbled into my mind when I was rummaging in there for a word to describe a certain type of adult human behavior I’ve been witnessing too much of late. There’s a set of people who are so exceedingly contrary that you and I both really dislike hanging around them… they constantly do the exact opposite in deed and talk. Promises are carelessly and casually given: your time has no meaning to them and is squandered thoughtlessly: give a simple task, they do the opposite. Never ask a contrary person for favors – they won’t be met, ask a simple question, they don’t answer it  - but instead launch into an extended belligerent monologue – making you wonder why on earth you ever thought you’d get any kind of simple answer. Take for example my neighbor who a while back cut a tree in his yard and let it (purposely) fall in our compound, blocking the driveway….. oh oh oh oh!! We only wanted that mess off our drive, but when Hubby went to talk to the tree-cutting-director (ngai fafa!!)– he got an ear-full of insults and reasons why-the-tree-MUST-be cut down plus the unnecessary info that he’d already used (read misused) the money that the landlord gave him for a professional lumberjack so he had to do it himself and look-there’s-a-hole-in-my-roof- so why are you bugging me about the ‘small branch’ in your driveway, you have a gardener.. let him clear my mess! All in fluent Dar swa by the way!
Have you come across adults like that at least once in your life? Their habitual negativity spills into your life and leaves you with a toxic mess which you have to clean up, using your own resources.
Contrary.
It’s okay when it’s a child or teenager – in fact, it’s expected for them to do the opposite of whatever you tell them, but adults?
When my dad told me I was contrary, it was because (true) I was being (i) creative and (ii) inquisitive. That’s okay for a growing child. For me to be creative, I had to go against the norm, constantly questioning why certain forms, formats, models and colours had to be treated in a certain technique and me purposely trying out the exact opposite, just for fun and to see ‘what would happen’. That’s why we go to school and ‘play around’ in science labs. To learn.
But as adults, to what extent can we fling aside the rules that our governments and schools and religious leaders and parents have laid down for our safety and benefit to do our own thing before people begin pointing fingers while commenting on our contrariness “- he’s acting like he Rules the world and like rules were made to be broken- who does he think he is?”…
Because being overly contradictory and balking the rules means that we cannot fit into society proper. It’s fine to be a little different as a child (although that also gets kids in trouble) and as a teenager,  but honestly, as an adult we must drop the habit, or know how to handle it. Society fits into agreeable patterns of ‘how to do things’ and according to my-pastor-who-doesn’t-want-to-be-called-Pastor-Charles, the way we do things is what’s called a ‘culture’ –  you hear of office cultures, tribal cultures, religious cultures… even World Day cultures like ‘May Day’, ‘Labour Day’, ‘Kenyatta Day’, ‘Valentines Day’ and ‘Halloween’.
While we’re all allowed – to some degree - to be contrary, the difference is in how it affects us in the long run. So alright, we don’t have to celebrate Valentines Day and we think Halloween is basically an American tradition so we in Africa don’t bother to honor that day, that’s ok, but as we grow older, extreme contrariness and being difficult and different all the time affects those we’re in relationships with be it lover, spouse, children or co-workers.
For example, You’re 20… so what if you don’t subscribe to the ‘saving’ culture and spend impulsively? It’s been hammered into your brain by parents, teachers, the pastor, banks, insurance companies – you name it – that you’re supposed to save, save, save! But the contrary ones decide to do the opposite of what is expected and mouth frequently that ‘I’M YOUNG AND WILD AND FREE’ is their motto and ‘YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE’ their favorite mantra - so – ‘where’s the parry?” and “I see, I buy”….chapa in- chapa out..
Now you’re 26. You’ve formed a habit. Add a couple of years. You’re still disregarding the SAVE rules. Add 4 years.. you’re approaching a mid-life-crisis like a Fuso Truck filled with Cement Bags on a free-roll down a high and steep road… and you haven’t saved a cent, yet you have a wife and a family who struggle with living hand-to-mouth, and because of your carelessness, they suffer daily.
Quick Q: How many men over 23 do you know who are still living with their mama or sister? Stop counting when you run out of fingers in the one hand. A common habit I dislike is those harambee cards for weddings. So ok, you’re my friend, but why should I part with 100,000/- for your wedding when you have been working and living single for more than 4 years? Plus you still expect a wedding gift from me? Wait one! You knew you’d get married one day, why didn’t you save for it? Thank goodness our banks can see more clearly than some men do and have introduced ‘Wedding Accounts’!! 
Or the young girl who is constantly warned to change her sexual habits, she doesn’t and brings a baby home to her already frustrated mother then dumps baby and leaves.
Being Contrary doesn’t mean being aggressively negative. You can have a charming outer personality that attracts people, and your contrariness sometimes takes a very subtle form that may go undetected for years by even those close to you. These are ‘yes’ people. They say Yes to whatever you say implying that they will get the job done, but a few hours or days or weeks or even years later you discover that the task was never began and they never intended to do it anyway, ever.
That’s being Contrary…
Or, take those who after some time of working the same job become ‘care-less’ and go against their bosses expectations: eg, The boss expects me to report in at 8am every morning but I have this attitude that I can walk in at 10a.m. because I leave work at 8pm anyway… (avoiding traffic). Or the lunch break that grows ever longer….I have also observed men and women out there who don’t honor their spouses or partners with a gift or flowers or a card (yaani nada) on Special Days (Birthdays, Wedding Anniversaries etc) year after year, because that’s not his way and she’s never done it and it’s not how he/she was raised so he or she is not about to start now.
That’s being Contrary…
Think… who do you know that even if they come to you for advice on an issue, you know you’re wasting your breath because they either won’t follow your advice or worse, halfway through your explanation they begin to argue with you? Or you tell her the appointment is at 9 but it’s actually at 11 because you KNOW she will be 2 hours late  - or – I love this – many women have come up to me and told me how they get flipping mad because their BF’s never picks them up on time! Never! She invariably waits (wherever) for upto 2 hours, but Lordy cry me a bucket if she does the same to him and keep him waiting for just a half hour!!! And his excuses are legion.
That’s being Contrary.
Being contrary and forming a habit of it infuriates others. In the end, we all tend to leave the Contrary person alone with thoughts like ‘achana naye – that’s how she is!’ and basically you’re written off because you can’t depend on someone who is always constantly purposely contrary. They will do the opposite of whatever you expect and it’s usually negative.
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you view it,  the very Rich who are Contrary are called eccentric… look at Micheal Jackson, Elton John, Lady Gaga, Madonna…. The list is endless, but they’re allowed their eccentricity because they can afford to go against popular culture – infact – their contrariness is copied by their fans and they make money off it.
Ha ha ha, If I, Nyakio wore a ‘meat’ dress and strolled downtown with a matching ‘meat’ handbag, wolololo!!  I’d probably be arrested for being a public nuisance or thrown into Mathare Mental Hospital because I’ve clearly lost it. Yet for the wealthy it’s okay to be ‘fashionably late’ and ‘make a statement’ when you arrive at a function, it’s okay to wear (guys) polka-dotted trousers, a yellow jacket, a bow-tie and sneakers to work, it’s okay to be so skinny that when you take a shower the water misses you – you can be as different as you want and even get positive vibes from society plus probably qualify for a Reality Show – but that is because you can afford the time, your reputation and the cash for penalties.
But, if you’re not rich and famous and you’re a just a regular Mwangi  or Ali or Nyambura, then your reputation will suffer negatively because certainly drawing away from the crowd means being (i) talked about and (ii) being shunned by those who do not dare to be different – or have grown up.
And acting like you could ‘care-less’  is a façade because the reality is that within human nature, deep down in our souls is a desire to be cared  about, to be loved and appreciated by society, and what that society does think about us is a major niggling concern at the back of our brains. My observation is that the contrary and purposely different person has numerous fears which often hides an inferiority complex. Their unshakable immature habit may be a way of seeking the attention they otherwise wouldn’t garner, or, a cover-up of huge past failures.
Either way, me and you can’t just do our own thing constantly, creating toxic fumes and walking away from them – we have the Boss to consider after all, he’s the one who gives us our paycheck. Or maybe you’re self-employed, so you can be as contrary as you wish. But what happens to your spouse? Kids? Parents? Friends and those around you? Consider this, having a companion who is contrary is like keeping a house cat – you just never know exactly where in the house it may be. It’s a likeable pet and not dangerous, but likewise, with contrary people it’s difficult trying to constantly second-guess where they are mentally.  It’s also tiring. And if you’re interacting with them daily, then it affects them daily. How long will they continue to be in your circle of friends before they back off and leave you to your disparate schemes?
So. Unless you want to be a self-sustaining hermit living on a deserted island somewhere in the middle of the Indian Ocean, or a rich Batman-type recluse surrounded by ‘yes-sir, no-sir’ servants who kowtow to your every whim but will never tell you the truth about your eccentricities, then begin to shrug off, step-out of  - loose! your contrary incompatible character and begin to build the nicer business of being charismatic and inoffensive and simply doing things the way everyone else does.

© Nyakio Munyinyi for The XpenSieve Report, October 2012


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